I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
