HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
