How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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