I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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