I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
