I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
