I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
