hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
