i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Found your dick twin last night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
