New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
