Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
