i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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