so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
