did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
