Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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