There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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