I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
