Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
