Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
