Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
