i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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