You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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