like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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