Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
