I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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