I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
