I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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