you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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