we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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