Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
