I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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