Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
