I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
