This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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