so explain again why im purple
no
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
