I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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