She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize