dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
