I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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