After last night, I could never be a politician.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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