We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
