you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
