Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
