There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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