IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Enjoy the penises
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
