It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
