Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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