I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
