I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
