i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
