I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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