I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
