after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
