During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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