I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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