my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
