I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize