The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
