Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
