i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
