im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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