Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
