We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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