So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
