it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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