uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
