so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
